Pigeon Forge, TN

I had never stayed in a bed and breakfast until staying at Berry Springs Lodge in Gatlinburg, TN. The closest tourist destination of which is Pigeon Forge and what I will mostly be writing about. Our room overlooked the beautiful Smoky Mountains; stunning hills covered equally in pasture and wooded fir forest. The thirty-three acre property quietly hid in a beautiful section of American Appalachia.

Cutting directly through this scenic rural landscape is Pigeon Forge, TN. Quite possibly the trashiest place I’ve ever seen. I’d describe it as a mix of Las Vegas and Disney Land designed specifically to attract rednecks. The main drag, strip, whatever you want to call it is dotted with tattoo parlors, mini-NASCAR tracks, and what I can only deem attractions.

The Upside Down White House

The ¾ Size Titanic (Walk the Grand Staircase!)

Pyramids, and many other natural and artificial attractions of the world, generally at ¾ to ½ the size, and quite often with some added benefit (it’s upside down, dinner theatre, you get the idea…). Not to mention, Dolly Parton’s own theme park, Dollywood.

The first night we took easy, catching up on sleep and relaxing after our eight hour drive. The next morning we explored the natural beauty surrounding us, attempting (unsuccessfully) to go mountain biking, successfully fishing (in a stocked pond), playing ping pong, grilling out and other such leisure activities.

That night we hit the town, hard. And quickly discovered that Pigeon Forge has only one bar. That’s right, one bar. We wrongly assumed the place would be full of trashy bars where we could hit on 19 year old mothers of 2, 45 year old chain smokers, and if we were lucky, someone with a full set of teeth.

Instead, we hit on the Liteguards, Coors and Miller light promoters down from Knoxville. They ended up giving us free t-shirts, and nine or ten beers between three of us. It worked out, though we were left to ourselves when their shift ended and they hightailed it back to Knoxville.